Fear

Liz is in the middle of training for Ironman Arizona, which means that her Saturday and Sunday mornings are spent training. We hadn’t been in church together for a couple of months. Our friends Joe and Blythe are in the same category, since Joe is training for the same event. We decided to look for a Saturday evening church, and after a lengthy web search found Calvary Austin. We’ve been attending for a couple of months now, and we really like it. Right now they’re spending a year going through the book of John, and I’ve really enjoyed a fresh, in-depth perspective on a book that I know.

One quick comment on Saturday night church, its awesome. Sunday is all yours to play or go out for a big breakfast, and there’s no guilt at all because you already worshiped. Plus, for us, it has made the difference between worshiping together or not. Our couple’s bible study meets on Sunday nights, or we’d be attending The Gathering. I’m really enjoying the Saturday night service.

When covering John 6, Jesus feeding the 5,000, the topic was fear, and one of the things that pastor Allen mentioned is that the most repeated command in scripture is to not fear, or to not be afraid. That has stuck with me for some reason. I’ve been praying through that for the past couple of weeks, and I’m starting to realize how much I make decisions based on fear. I have to say, its convicting. I understand that I’m loved, I understand that God wants good things for me. More than understanding I believe those things are true, yet rather than prayerfully making choices in faith, I choose based on my limited perspective.

I’m not second guessing myself here. I’m generally satisfied with my life and excited about my plan for the future. My question is more about the future than the past. I have a plan for my life, how could that plan be altered if I stepped out in faith, rather than looking at all of the available options then picking? I could list dozens of examples in my own life and in the lives of my friends, when a decision was made in faith and God responded. And yet when I look to the future, some part of me needs to see every step before I’m willing to move.

At the moment I feel a renewed commitment to faithfully trusting God with all of me, and it isn’t scary at all. But today my only choice is enchiladas or an omelet. I hope to have the same conviction when faced with more difficult decisions.