I just had the craziest dream. I know everyone says that, but I really did.
I dreamed that my Dad and I were working together in the same office on some software project, and that Ozzy Osbourne was one of our coworkers. It was really annoying because he talked all the time but no one could understand him, and his code was awful so we always had to redo his work when he wasn’t around.
This created some tension between me, my Dad and Ozzy. My Dad and I were mad that we had to do his work, and he was mad too, but we couldn’t understand him when he was telling us why he was mad. So he started spamming us. Thousands of emails per day. And somehow he figured out how to get them through our spam filters, so they all came straight to our inbox.
This escalated for a while, Ozzy kept spending more time sending us spam, which meant that my Dad and I had to spend more time doing his work. Finally we talked to our boss. He said that he wouldn’t fire Ozzy, because how cool is it to have Ozzy Osbourne working here? It didn’t matter that Ozzy wasn’t really working. Ozzy found out that we talked to the boss and said (we think, he really is hard to understand) that he was going to start sending malicious spam. I don’t really know what that means, but in my dream it was bad.
That was the last straw, my Dad and I were ready to take Ozzy out back and throw down. So we’re all yelling at each other and pushing and stuff, and then CRACK! A bolt of lightning cracked just outside my window and I was awake.
I ignored the thunderstorm for a minute, trying to get back to the fight, but I really was awake. Dang. Ozzy, if you’re reading this, you better get that stored procedure finished today! And stop sending me spam!